Handling Resentment From a Christ-like Perspective
Last night, Breanna and I were talking about a situation that was going on in our lives, and she pointed out to me that I was dealing with resentment, and this was not a Christ-like characteristic.
While I understand I am doing it to protect my heart, she is right. That got me wondering, though, how does God say we should handle resentment?
Let’s start by defining resentment. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it means a bitter indignation at being treated unfairly.
We Need to Recognize Having the Feeling of Resentment is Not a Sin
Honestly, I breathed a sigh of relief hearing this information.
According to scripture, what we do with resentment is what becomes the sin. Over and over again, I’ve been brought to Ephesians 4:26-27.
“Don’t sin by letting your anger (resentment, in this case) control you. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.”
A big thing that needs to be understood is this feeling is fleeting. This will likely not be an issue in our lives a month from now because life continues to move forward.
Afterall, can you remember what you were upset about a year ago? It’s probably not the same thing as it is right now.
Remember that Christ Wants Us To Be Mindful
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” -Phillipians 4:8
After writing that, I realized my battle with being resentful goes beyond my current situation. Had it been an isolated event, I don’t know that I would be as upset.
Instead, the end of 2023 and all of 2024 sent me through so many loops that I have begun to not think about the praiseworthy things.
We need to sit down and write out everything we are grateful for. Then, cling to those things. Then, cling to those things.
In doing so, we can see the full picture of the situation for what it is, including the good.
In my current situation, I’ll be honest- there was good in it.
Giving the Resentment to God
Given the information I just gave, I recognize that my prayer becomes different.
“Soften my heart Lord. Take the pain and help mold me into the person I need to be in this situation.”
If you, like me, need to talk through things in order to feel better, I always recommend going to the Lord in prayer. I tell my junior high girls at church that God is the ultimate gossiper. He wants to know all of your life situations; even better, he doesn’t share it with others!
Back tracking a bit, I am still unsure what that will look like. It is weird to say that my resentment comes from a place of love and loss.
Here’s the thing about that though. An open, honest conversation about the situation was attempted but I was unwilling to hear it and I know that my hositlity showed through.
Communication with a loved one is lost if we build walls. How do we repair the wound if we’re dealing with the resentment this way?
Digging deeper into his word, we should forgive just as God has forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32). When the feelings come bubbling up inside, we should go to the Lord and continue to pray the prayer above.
This is my biggest goal at the moment. Help me to step into the other person’s shoes. To love them as God has loved us.
Daily Actions We Can Take to Reduce Resentment
Here are a few ways we can reduce resentment and focus on the positive in order to shift our intentions to be more Christ-like, loving others as God loves us.
- Writing out prayers or letters to God.
I love writing out my prayers. One of the best reasons to do this is to allow us to see where God has helped us in the past. Too often, we miss out on the smaller things he has done in our lives.
Despite everything I’ve been through, I know that greater things are going to come from all of this. That one day, I will look around and see why God put me through this time in my life. There is this part of me that is so ready to be on the other side, but I’m learning that it is the chapters that define our lives, not always the ending. - Meditating on specific scriptures daily.
Given what I stated above, my favorite bible verse will always ring true: Jeremiah 29:11 - Practicing gratitude by listing blessings regularly.
May we daily see the Lord’s blessings around us and know that he is working everything out for his good, even if we can’t see it right now.
